


From Zero

by Shel_Kim



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Boys In Love, College, Comfort Sex, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Romance, Roommates, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15566880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shel_Kim/pseuds/Shel_Kim
Summary: What happens when you put a party boy who wants to be a world famous music producer/artist in the same college dorm as a quiet boy who is trying to earn a Ph.D. in science? Lots of fighting, several revelations, and a bond that would last them a lifetime.





	From Zero

              The summer heat knocked Im Changkyun in the face as he stepped out of his father’s car and glanced up at the dormitory building in front of him. His first year of college had arrived and the eighteen year old could feel his heart pounding with excitement and nervousness. Changkyun snapped out of his distracted thoughts when he heard his father call to him to help get his luggage out of the trunk of the car. After retrieving the three suitcases, Changkyun wished his parents well before saying he’d see them at Christmas, before walking into the building, dragging the bags behind him. Finding the appropriate dorm, Changkyun opened the door to find the room empty, indicating his new roommate hadn’t arrived yet. Changkyun didn’t mind though, it meant he’d have first dibs on which bed he wanted and could hopefully set up his things in peace. As he began to make his bed, Changkyun jumped when the door to the room suddenly flew open to reveal another Korean teenager. Changkyun nervously swallowed; this guy seemed intimidating, dressed in a denim jacket over a white shirt, backwards ball cap, and black jeans. “This is dorm 4J right?” the Korean teen asked. Changkyun nodded slowly before relaxing a little as he saw a grin appear on the stranger’s face. “Awesome,” he said, throwing two duffel bags onto the empty bed on the opposite side of the room. “Guess introductions are next, I’m Jooheon,” the raven haired Korean stated as he extended his arm to his kneeling roommate.

          “Changkyun,” the brunette responded quietly, shaking Jooheon’s hand out of politeness.

          “I see you’ve already made yourself at home,” Jooheon noted as Changkyun finished making up his bed.

          “Yes, I wanted to get everything organized and laid out how I like it,” Changkyun responded before grabbing one of his many books off his desk. “Now that that’s done, I can start reading.”

          “What are you reading?” Jooheon inquired as he opened his duffel bag and retrieved his bedding.

          “A History of Theoretical Physics,” Changkyun informed as he sat down on his bed and leaned back against the headframe.

          Jooheon looked over at his roommate with wide eyes and a slightly dropped jaw. “And you read that for fun?” he asked.

          Changkyun smirked before replying “Not exactly, I wanna get a head start before classes begin at the end of the week.”

          “What are you majoring in, rocket science?” Jooheon jokingly questioned.

          “Well I’m trying to get my Ph.D. in science engineering in four years so that I can go work with my father,” Changkyun explained.

          “Oh wow, your dad’s a scientist?” Jooheon asked, becoming intrigued with his roommate.

          “Yeah, because of that I moved around a lot as a kid but we finally settled here in Korea a couple of years ago,” Changkyun informed.

          “Where all have you lived?” Jooheon wondered.

          “America, Israel, Japan, and Korea,” Changkyun responded. “My parents put me on a fast track to get a Ph.D. so that I can start my career as soon as possible, in case they decide to move again.”

          “Damn dude, that’s so cool, I wish I had your life,” Jooheon said as he started making his bed again.

          “No you don’t,” Changkyun whispered almost inaudibly.

          “What’d you say?” Jooheon inquired.

          “I um, I said what about you?” Changkyun lied, quickly wanting to get the subject off himself.

          “Oh, well it’s better if I just show you,” Jooheon said as he unzipped another duffel bag and pulled out his laptop, a sound board, and a digital mixer before setting them up on his given desk. “I’m going for a Master’s in music production and hopefully one day can produce rap or hip hop artists, as well as my own mixtapes.”

          “You’re a musician?” Changkyun asked, closing his book for a moment.

          “Yeah, I write my own lyrics, create my own beats; been doing it for a long time,” Jooheon replied. “You wanna listen to some?”

          Changkyun really wanted to, but he could hear his father’s words about not getting distracted while at college ringing in his ears, so he nodded his head. “Maybe later,” he quietly declined.

          “Okay, fair enough,” Jooheon agreed with a smile as he put his headphones on and began listening to music as he lie down on his bed.

          The next few days seemed to fly by until the first day of the semester was finally upon them. Thursday morning, Changkyun was awaken by his alarm at an early five a.m.; unfortunately the loud noise startled Jooheon awake as well, and the panicked teen fell out of bed. “What the hell is that, is the building on fire?!” he asked with wide eyes.

          “Sorry man, it’s my alarm,” Changkyun apologized as he stood up and made his bed before retrieving a new outfit for the day.

          “Next time choose a more pleasant sound,” Jooheon tiredly requested as he heaved himself back into bed and buried himself under the covers.

          “Are you not getting up as well?” Changkyun wondered, noticing Jooheon’s cocoon-like being still in bed.

          “Hell no dude, it’s five a.m., my first class isn’t until ten, and normal classes don’t begin until seven anyways, so what are you doing up?” Jooheon mumbled from under his blanket.

          “I always get up this early, I want to browse my biochemistry book before class,” Changkyun replied as he grabbed a large textbook from his desk.

          “You are not normal,” Jooheon muttered before drifting back to sleep.

          Changkyun sat down on his bed and opened the textbook, whispering “I am what I am, and I can’t change that.”

          Hours later, Jooheon’s own alarm went off, waking up the tired Korean teen once again. He sat up and noticed Changkyun was gone, but figured he was in class. Getting ready, Jooheon grabbed his notebooks and shoved them into his backpack before hoisting it over his shoulder and heading towards his first class. When Jooheon’s last class ended around four that afternoon, the raven haired Korean headed back to his dorm but found Changkyun was still gone. “Damn, is he still in class?” Jooheon asked himself out loud. Not two seconds after he said this, did the door open and in walk Changkyun. “Speak of the devil.”

          “What?” Changkyun inquired in a confused tone as he sat down at his desk and began his homework.

          “Nothing,” Jooheon brushed off, sitting down at his own desk, opposite of Changkyun’s. Opening his laptop, Jooheon began to play around on his soundboard and mixer while simultaneously writing down lyrics on a notebook.

          Changkyun lay his pencil down firmly, the brunette turned around and requested “Could you maybe use headphones? Some of us are trying to study.”

          “What do you think I’m doing?” Jooheon wondered.

          “Being distractive,” Changkyun replied.

          “C’mon dude, just for a few minutes, it’s been a long day and music helps me unwind; plus the acoustics in the room make the sound incredible,” Jooheon begged.

          “You don’t know what a long day is,” Changkyun mumbled, turning back to his work.

          Jooheon paused the music on his laptop before asking “Hey man, do you have a problem with me?”

          While continuing to write, Changkyun stated “You don’t know what a long day is, your idea of a long day is waking up at ten and going to class for five or six hours and then coming back to listen to music. Try having my schedule for a day and then complain about how long you think your days are, I’m sure yours are much more relaxed than mine are.”

          “You think I don’t have long days?” Jooheon demanded as he stood up and took a step towards Changkyun. He grabbed his shoulder and turned Changkyun to face him. “You know nothing about what I go through, you know nothing about me. Don’t sit there and act like you’re better than me just because of the difference in degrees we’re getting. I may not be some rocket scientist, but at least I’m gonna be happy doing what I love instead of planning my life around what my parents want me to do.” Changkyun’s face became warm as his cheeks turned rosy as he and Jooheon stared at one another for a few moments, before Changkyun forcibly turned back to his homework. Jooheon returned to his desk and slipped his headphones on before pressing play on his laptop again as the two roommates sat in their dorm in silence.

          A couple of hours later, as the sun started to set, Jooheon closed his laptop and slid his shoes on. “Where are you going?” Changkyun wondered, looking up from the book he was reading.

          “Got invited to this party with some guys from my music class, gonna be out late,” Jooheon replied before grabbing his key and heading out the door.

          “Finally, some peace for a while,” Changkyun muttered as he glanced at his book again.

          That night, around two a.m., Changkyun was awoken by the sound of loud banging and singing coming from right outside the door. Recognizing the voice, Changkyun groaned as he stood up and opened the door, letting in a drunk Jooheon. “Hey man, what are you doing up?” Jooheon slurred as he stumbled inside.

          “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Changkyun questioned.

          Jooheon was silent for a minute as he tried to think, before replying “No, do you know what time it is?”

          “It’s very late and we’ve got class tomorrow,” Changkyun scolded.

          “Hey, hey tell me how this sounds,” Jooheon requested before beginning to beatbox a rhythm. “Sounds good right?”

          “Yes, that was lovely, now please shut up and go to bed, I have to be up in three hours,” Changkyun stated as Jooheon fell onto his bed and started laughing. The brunette Korean returned to his own bed and sighed, rolling over to face the wall. As he tried going back to sleep, Changkyun’s eyes shot open as Jooheon continued to loudly slur out rap lyrics. Taking one of his pillows, Changkyun thrust it in Jooheon’s direction, growling “Shut up.” Jooheon mumbled something inaudibly before passing out, bringing silence to the dorm again as the two teens slept.

          A few hours later, Changkyun groaned as his alarm blared out. Because of the incident with Jooheon, Changkyun hadn’t been able to rest soundly. This time, Jooheon didn’t even budge when the alarm rang out, instead just continued to sleep. Changkyun looked at his roommate as he got dressed and quietly said “Father was right, I should’ve opted for a single person dorm room.” Changkyun sat down at his desk and opened his laptop to start typing a paper; after about an hour, he heard Jooheon moan as he awoke.

          Holding his forehead, Jooheon grumbled at the splitting headache he had before slowly standing up and going over to the mini fridge that the dorm room had come equipped with. Changkyun turned to see Jooheon pull a piece of foil out, unwrap it, and take a bite out of whatever food had been preserved in it. “That’s better,” Jooheon mumbled.

          “What are you eating?” Changkyun questioned.

          “A burrito,” Jooheon stated before extending his arm. “Wanna bite?”

          “No,” Changkyun replied in a disgusted tone. “Why would you eat a burrito cold?”

          “Helps my hangover, and because we don’t have a microwave and I don’t wanna walk down to the community kitchen to warm it up,” Jooheon explained.

          Changkyun shook his head before turning back to his laptop. “You are such an animal,” he muttered in an annoyed tone.

          “Sure you don’t want any?” Jooheon playfully asked as he waved the burrito at Changkyun.

          “No thank you, I just want to work on my thesis,” Changkyun responded.

          “Your thesis? Isn’t that due like towards the end of college, like four years down the road?” Jooheon wondered.

          “Yes, but I want to get a jump on it so I can have time to go back and edit it and not feel rushed,” Changkyun said. “Plus I have to make sure mine is the best in the class, can’t have anything less than that.”

          “Hell, I’d settle for a C+ or a B,” Jooheon replied, taking another bite out of his burrito.

          “And that is why you and I are in different majors,” Changkyun retorted.

          “I would argue with you if my head didn’t hurt already,” Jooheon said.

          “Oh, is it the hangover or is your brain struggling to have an early morning thought?” Changkyun questioned, turning around and crossing his arms.

          “Okay what the fuck is your problem? Are you going through a drought or something?” Jooheon asked.

          “A drought of what?” Changkyun inquired in a confused tone.

          “Have you gotten laid lately?” Jooheon bluntly wondered.

          A blush appeared across Changkyun’s cheeks as he snapped “That is none of your business.”

          “I’m taking that as a no,” Jooheon noted.

          “I don’t have time for such luxuries, I’m too busy studying,” Changkyun said.

          “And that is exactly why you need to get laid,” Jooheon stated. “I know some girls who will be willing to help out, or if you prefer the dudes –”

          “No!” Changkyun suddenly yelled out causing Jooheon to freeze. Regaining his composure, Changkyun quietly added “Sorry, I’m just uncomfortable talking about stuff like that.”

          “Okay, sorry,” Jooheon apologized. Seeing that Changkyun was really emotional by the mere suggestion led Jooheon to believe that something more was going on with him, but knew now was not the time to ask. “I’m gonna go grab something to drink, you want anything?”

          “I’m fine,” Changkyun muttered in response. Jooheon nodded before staggering out of the dorm, leaving Changkyun alone. After taking a few deep breaths, the brunette began typing again on his laptop.

          As the weeks progressed, Jooheon and Changkyun mostly kept to themselves; Jooheon would go to class in the day, and stay out and party with his fellow music majors until three a.m. on a regular basis, while Changkyun remained locked away in the dorm, poured over his books and constantly studying and preparing for deadlines extremely early. As autumn fully started settling on the Korean university, Jooheon received his first big project for his music class and subsequently stopped attending parties as much to focus on his project. Changkyun had noticed over the past few weeks that the knowledge that Jooheon lacked in science and math, he more than made up for when it came to music production. Changkyun might be considered an academic genius, but secretly the brunette thought that Jooheon was a genius when it came to lyrics and mixing; Changkyun had heard samples that Jooheon would play out loud and was no longer bothered about his roommate playing his sounds throughout the dorm. One evening, Jooheon sat at his desk, tapping his pen against his head as he read through the lyrics he’d written down while his beat played. “Something’s missing,” he muttered to himself. Turning to Changkyun, Jooheon was hesitant to disturb the brunette, even though they were used to each other. “Hey Changkyun,” he called.

          “What’s up?” Changkyun inquired as he continued typing on his own laptop.

          “Can you listen to this song and tell me what it’s missing? It’s my first project for my music class and I want it to be perfect,” Jooheon explained. “Do you know anything about music?”

          “Yeah, a little,” Changkyun remarked as he turned around in his chair to face Jooheon’s desk.

          “Okay cool,” Jooheon said as he stood up and gripped his notebook. Changkyun listened and watched Jooheon perform his original piece, amazed at his talent. After finishing his rap, Jooheon asked “What does it need? I feel like it needs something more.”

          After thinking for a minute, Changkyun requested “Could you do it one more time?”

          “Yeah,” Jooheon agreed as he started the song over and began his rap once more.

          When the song ended for a second time, Changkyun offered “What about after the bridge towards the end, you do an outro like this.” Changkyun then began to rap a small verse that caused Jooheon to pause in shock. His roommate could rap, and had a honey-like voice while doing it.

          “What the hell was that?” Jooheon asked in a surprised tone.

          “No good?” Changkyun nervously questioned.

          “Dude that was fucking awesome!” Jooheon complimented as he slapped Changkyun’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you could rap? Why have you been hiding that voice from me?”

          “It’s not a useful talent,” Changkyun replied.

          “Who told you that?” Jooheon inquired.

          “My father,” Changkyun revealed. “When I was young, I had a huge love for music and wanted to be a rapper, but my father told me that being a rapper wouldn’t pay bills and that I should stop being stupid and choose a field where I would be useful to benefiting society.”

          “So they weren’t supportive of your dream?” Jooheon asked.

          Changkyun nodded his head. “At age eleven, we moved to Israel, and my father forced me to leave all of my music dreams behind. He said ‘new life, new impression’, and from there instead of music, I would just read science books,” he informed.

          “My parents didn’t support my dream either,” Jooheon stated. “When I was thirteen, I would skip classes and go have rap battles with the other local boys, but regularly got caught. My parents told me to stop thinking I had a future in music and after my dad smashed my first sound mixer, I ran off and moved in with my grandmother. She always called me musically gifted and is very supportive; she would come to all my competitions I participated in, and even if I came in second or third place, she would still say she was proud of me and not to give up. So I don’t, I keep going, and being able to one day prove my parents wrong is what fuels me to be the best and give one hundred and ten percent every time.”

          “Do you ever see your parents anymore?” Changkyun wondered.

          Jooheon lowered his head and muttered “I have nothing to say to them, not until I make it big.”

          “I have faith that you will, I hear the music you make and it’s incredible, better than some of the mainstream rappers out there,” Changkyun responded.

          “Maybe you could collaborate with me on a track sometime, I could make a beat that would fit both our voices well,” Jooheon offered.

          “That’d be cool,” Changkyun admitted. “What other songs have you made?”

          “Come over here, I’ll show you,” Jooheon beckoned, before Changkyun stood and moved his chair over to Jooheon’s desk, sitting down next to his roommate and listening to his other demos he had created in the past. For the moment, Changkyun completely forgot about his studies and completely focused on rekindling his love for making rap music with Jooheon. After this incident of revelation and opening up to one another, the rest of the semester was much more pleasant for the two teenagers. They quickly began bonding more, Jooheon didn’t party anymore, instead stayed in and made tracks with Changkyun, and Changkyun still studied, just not as meticulously as he previously had done. The brunette even helped Jooheon in classes that he was falling behind in, since he was more focused on music than any of the other subjects.

          Finally the week of finals was upon the Korean teens. Jooheon confidently presented his track to his class, while Changkyun made top grade in his biochemistry and statistics classes. “What are you doing for Christmas break?” Jooheon asked as the two relaxed in their dorm after their respective final tests.

          “Just going home to see my parents,” Changkyun replied. “What about you?”

          “Same with me, but going to see my grandmother instead,” Jooheon said.

          “You should come have dinner with me and my parents sometime over the break,” Changkyun offered.

          “Yeah?” Jooheon asked with a grin across his lips.

          “Yeah, I want my parents to meet you,” Changkyun confirmed as a light blush crept across his cheeks.

          “Sure, that sounds good, I never turn down food,” Jooheon jokingly responded. “Let me see your phone, I’ll put my number in it so we can text and work out more details as it gets closer.” Changkyun gladly handed his phone to his roommate and watched him type his info into the phone. “Feel free to text or call me anytime you need me, especially if your dad starts becoming stressful.”

          Changkyun smirked before nodding. “In that case I’ll probably text you every day,” he said.

          “I wouldn’t mind that honestly,” Jooheon admitted.

          Twenty four hours later, Changkyun and Jooheon said goodbye to one another before Jooheon walked off the campus to the nearest bus stop to wait for the next public transit, while Changkyun saw his parent’s car approach the building. The brunette climbed inside and silently rode back to his parent’s penthouse apartment in an upper area of Seoul, not thirty minutes away from his university. Changkyun grabbed his duffel bag he’d packed for his month long break and headed inside, riding up the elevator to his parent’s apartment. As soon as he entered, Changkyun called out “Mom, father, I’m here.”

          “Changkyun sweetheart,” his mother said happily as she rushed into the room and threw her arms around her son. “How’s my baby? How was your first semester at college?”

          “It was fine mom,” Changkyun replied.

          “Finished top of your class I expect,” Changkyun’s father, Dr. Im firmly asked.

          “Yes father, top score in every class,” Changkyun confirmed nervously.

          “Good, with your intellect and upbringing, I expect nothing less from my son,” Dr. Im stated.

          “So tell us about university honey, did you enjoy your classes?” Mrs. Im asked.

          “He’s not there to enjoy the classes, he’s there to take them and get a degree,” Dr. Im scolded, causing Changkyun to swallow roughly.

          “What about your roommate? Did you get along well with him?” Mrs. Im wondered.

          “Yeah he’s really cool, and very talented. I asked him to join us for dinner sometime over the break if that’s okay, I want you guys to meet him,” Changkyun informed.  

          “Oh that’d be wonderful,” Mrs. Im agreed.

          “What’s his major in?” Dr. Im questioned.

          “He, he is majoring in the arts,” Changkyun slowly said.

          “Oh God, he’s one of those types,” Dr. Im judgmentally snarled. Changkyun remained quiet, he didn’t like his father disrespecting Jooheon like that, but feared how his father would retaliate if he said anything.

          “Can I go to my room and relax until dinner?” Changkyun requested.

          “Sure sweetie, dinner won’t be ready for another hour, so go rest,” Mrs. Im replied.

          Changkyun stepped into his bedroom and shut the door, throwing his duffel bag down before lying down on his bed and calling Jooheon. “Hello?” came the raven haired Korean’s voice from the other end of the line.

          Just hearing Jooheon’s voice calmed down Changkyun as he said “Hey dude, did you make it home okay?”

          “Oh yeah, just got home a few minutes ago and my grandmother is so happy she made like a buffet of food,” Jooheon informed.

          Changkyun laughed quietly before replying “That was nice of her, all I got when I got home was my dad asking if I got top grade in my class.”

          “Damn, that’s a warm how-do-you-do,” Jooheon remarked, causing both of them to laugh at the statement.

          “When are you free? My mom said you can come over for dinner whenever you want,” Changkyun said.

          “Okay, well how about sometime next week? I kinda wanna spend the first week off catching up on things around my neighborhood,” Jooheon wondered.

          “Yeah that sounds good,” Changkyun agreed.

          “Oh I almost forgot, I’m working on a new track tonight and wanna know if I can send it to you and see what you think,” Jooheon requested.

          “You already know the answer to that,” Changkyun playfully stated.

          Jooheon laughed quietly before saying “Yeah, guess I didn’t really need to ask. Hey I gotta go help my grandmother with something, but text me later okay?”

          “Sure Jooheon,” Changkyun confirmed with a smile across his lips.

          “Cool, see ya dude,” Jooheon said.

          “See ya,” Changkyun echoed before both teens hung up. Resting his phone against his chest, Changkyun could feel his heart pounding rapidly.

          The next week, Changkyun nervously prepared for Jooheon’s arrival, making sure everything around the apartment was organized and clean. “Is your friend coming soon?” Mrs. Im asked, noticing Changkyun’s pacing.

          “Yeah he’s on his way,” Changkyun stated. Almost as soon as he said that, his phone vibrated, revealing a text from Jooheon, saying that he had just stepped into the elevator and would be up in a minute. Changkyun counted the seconds, and with each passing second caused his chest to pound harder. Soon, there was a knock at the apartment door, and Changkyun opened it casually, trying not to show his excitement to see his friend and roommate again. “Hey,” he greeted.

          “Hey,” Jooheon echoed as he walked inside.

          The two boys walked over to Mrs. Im where Changkyun introduced “Mom, this is my friend/roommate Jooheon; Jooheon this is my mom.”

          “Nice to meet you,” Jooheon said, extending his hand to her.

          “Likewise,” Mrs. Im cheerfully replied lightly shaking Jooheon’s hand. Turning, Changkyun saw his father enter the room and stand next to his mom, eyeballing Jooheon the entire time. “This is my husband, Changkyun’s father, Dr. Im.”

          “Nice to meet you sir,” Jooheon repeated, sticking his hand back out to Dr. Im; only for the doctor to silently shake his hand in return.

          Changkyun sighed quietly in embarrassment at his father’s actions before his mother asked “Who’s ready to eat?”

          “Yes ma’am,” Jooheon excitedly said as he followed Mrs. Im to the table.

          Changkyun noticed his father’s glare at him and swallowed quietly before the two joined them at the dining table. “So Jooheon, Changkyun tells us that you are majoring in the arts,” Mrs. Im stated as she served dinner to everyone.

          “Yes, I am majoring in music production to be exact,” Jooheon clarified.

          “Do you think that’s a logical choice for a degree in the long run?” Dr. Im bluntly asked.

          Changkyun and Jooheon both looked at Dr. Im before Changkyun muttered “Father –”

          “It’s okay,” Jooheon reassured, placing his hand on Changkyun’s leg. “Yes sir I have been wanting to do this as a profession since I was thirteen and am striving to be the best in the industry.”

          “A waste of a degree if you ask me,” Dr. Im responded. “People who choose to major in the arts are just setting themselves up for failure. I give it a year at most before your performing in gutter bars to make ends meet.”

          “Shut up father!” Changkyun yelled as he shot up from his chair. His sudden outburst resulted in silence from everyone else in the room. “Just because it doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean it’s not a smart choice. Jooheon is an extremely talented person and is going to make something of himself, despite people like you trying to bring him down like the dream crusher you are!”

          Before anything else could happen, Dr. Im stood up from his own chair and reached across the table and backhanded Changkyun across the face, causing Mrs. Im and Jooheon to jump in shock. Dr. Im walked around to Changkyun grabbed his son by the shoulders, forcing the brunette to look at him. Tears glistened in Changkyun’s eyes as his father growled “How dare you disrespect me like that! Hanging around people of lower intelligence has obviously clouded your judgement, but you will never speak to me like that in my house again, do you understand me boy?!”

          Changkyun nodded and muttered “Y-yes sir.”

          Dr. Im slapped him again and demanded “Speak up, speak like you’ve got some sense.”

          “Yes sir,” Changkyun repeated louder.

          Jooheon had had enough. Standing up, he put himself in between Changkyun and his father before saying “There’s no need to hit him; that was uncalled for.”

          “Stay out of this, I won’t have lower class trash coming into my home, telling me how to discipline my son,” Dr. Im threatened.

          Turning to Changkyun, Jooheon placed a hand on his face gently and whispered “Go get your stuff.”

          Changkyun didn’t even question his friend, he just nodded and ran to his room. “What the hell is going on?” Dr. Im demanded.

          “I’m not gonna let you hurt him again tonight,” Jooheon stated. “And as for you calling me trash, fuck you man.” Turning to Mrs. Im, Jooheon smiled and added “Thank you for the dinner Mrs. Im, it was very delicious.” Jooheon faced Dr. Im again as both glared at one another before Changkyun reappeared with his duffel bag. Jooheon grabbed Changkyun’s hand and pulled him behind himself as he hurried out of the apartment.

          The two silently rode down the elevator before exiting the building and going over to the nearest bus stop. After getting on, the Korean teens sat down on the empty bus as the transport began down the road. Changkyun leaned his head against Jooheon’s shoulder and closed his eyes as the silence continued between the two. Jooheon was visibly shaking in anger at what he had just witnessed. Looking down at Changkyun, Jooheon lightly brushed his thumb over Changkyun’s fingers as the two still had their hands interlaced. Jooheon noticed tear stains appearing on his denim jacket and comfortingly leaned his head against Changkyun’s, as the brunette trembled against him. After about thirty minutes, the bus pulled up to a stop near a small middle class Gangnam neighborhood. “C’mon, this is our stop,” Jooheon gently informed as he and Changkyun slowly got off. Changkyun let Jooheon lead him to a small apartment before he called out “Grandmother, I’m back and brought Changkyun with me.”

          The elderly Korean woman entered the living room from the kitchen and greeted Changkyun. “Is everything alright dear?” she asked, noticing Changkyun’s red eyes.

          “Everything’s fine now, Changkyun is going to stay here for a couple of days,” Jooheon informed. “We’re gonna head to bed.”

          “Alright, you kids get some rest,” the elderly woman said as the two teens headed towards Jooheon’s bedroom.

          Once the door was closed, all of Changkyun’s tears began pouring from his eyes as he sobbed. Jooheon wrapped his arms around the brunette and shushed him gently, muttering “It’s okay man, it’s gonna be okay.”

          “I’m so sorry you had to see that,” Changkyun apologized.

          “Hey, you don’t have to apologize for your dad’s behavior, that’s his problem, not yours,” Jooheon replied. “I see now why you never wanted to talk about him.”

          “He’s always been that way, so critical of everything; you were the one thing I was hoping he’d approve of,” Changkyun said.

          “Why me?” Jooheon wondered.

          “Because of how much I like you,” Changkyun revealed.

          Jooheon’s eyes widened as he looked down at the brunette. “Really?” he asked.

          “Yes,” Changkyun confirmed as tears sparkled in his eyes while the two stared at one another.

          Placing his hand back on Changkyun’s face, Jooheon leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to the brunette’s before replying “Then the feeling is mutual.”

          Changkyun’s heart pounded rapidly as he placed his hand on the back of Jooheon’s neck and pulled the raven haired Korean closer, kissing him again. Jooheon slid his hands down to Changkyun’s jeans and brushed his fingertips over the waistband before unbuttoning and unzipping them while Changkyun removed Jooheon’s backwards ball cap, tossing it down, as he slipped his arms around Jooheon’s shoulders, gripping his shirt before pulling it up over Jooheon’s head. The brunette took off his jeans before lying down on Jooheon’s bed as the raven haired Korean moved on top of him and yanked his own shirt off before they kissed again. Jooheon let his lips travel down to Changkyun’s neck, nipping the skin with his teeth, taking in Changkyun’s moans as he kissed him. Changkyun arched his back as Jooheon’s mouth continued its trek down his torso; Changkyun wanted to feel Jooheon’s skilled lips on every part of his body, and let another moan out as Jooheon licked over his ribs and bit at his hips while slowly working his boxers off. The moment there with Jooheon was perfect for Changkyun; he wasn’t thinking about anything but his friend, now lover, and the stress of university and his family seemed to melt away with each new kiss Jooheon placed on his skin.

          After their first sexual experience with one another, the two lie together entangled in one another’s arms as Changkyun had his head pressed to Jooheon’s chest while the raven haired Korean raked his fingertips up and down Changkyun’s back gently. “Second day of the semester,” Changkyun muttered.

          “What?” Jooheon asked as he brushed Changkyun’s bangs softly.

          “That’s when I developed a crush on you,” Changkyun clarified, leaning up to kiss Jooheon’s cheek.

          Jooheon laughed quietly before saying “I liked you from the minute I saw you.”

          Changkyun smirked before replying “That’s so cheesy.”

          “It’s true though, I saw you and was like ‘damn, I have to date him’,” Jooheon said before both boys laughed quietly. Jooheon pressed another kiss to Changkyun’s lips. “I never would’ve believed that a genius would fall for me in return.”

          “Well statistically speaking –” Changkyun started before Jooheon held up a hand.

          “Please no math while we’re on vacation,” he requested.

          “Okay,” Changkyun laughed.

           “Was that your first time having sex?” Jooheon wondered.

          “Yeah,” Changkyun admitted. “Could you tell?”

          “Oh yeah, I could tell back in the dorm when you got uncomfortable talking about sex,” Jooheon said. “But I mean did you enjoy it?”

          Changkyun looked at Jooheon and nodded. “It was incredible,” he stated before the two kissed again and slowly fell to sleep wrapped in one another’s embrace.

          The next morning, Changkyun slowly opened his eyes; this was the first time in years that he had woken up on his own and not to the sound of an alarm. Changkyun stretched before slowly turning over to see Jooheon still resting soundly. The brunette smiled at his friend, reminiscing about their previous evening as he gently placed his hand on Jooheon’s face and brushed his raven bangs out of his eyes, muttering his name quietly. After a few moments, Jooheon opened his own eyes and met Changkyun’s gaze. Grinning, Jooheon reached over and stroked Changkyun’s face before pulling his closer to kiss his lips. “I like waking up this way more, instead of hearing your annoying alarm sound,” Jooheon whispered.

          Both boys laughed quietly before Changkyun agreed “I do too.”

          For the remainder of the Christmas break, Changkyun remained at Jooheon’s grandmother’s apartment where he and Jooheon would explore his old neighborhood, go to all his favorite hangout spots and restaurants, and some days they stayed locked away in the apartment making new tracks and beats on Jooheon’s mixers. Changkyun enjoyed the actual freedom of getting to forget about his academics and deadlines and thesis papers and just focus on being a normal teenager making music with his friend. However, he did receive several calls from his mother while staying with Jooheon, mostly just her asking if he was okay and apologizing for his father’s actions. Changkyun would tell her every time that until his father apologized, Changkyun had nothing to say to him. With his father being a man with a strong ego and pride, Changkyun knew that that would never happen. “What’d your mom say?” Jooheon asked one night after Changkyun got off the phone.

          “Just usual stuff, how are you, are you eating, when are you coming back, things like that,” Changkyun informed. Looking at Jooheon, he added “I also kinda told her about us. Are you upset?”

          “Of course not,” Jooheon denied with a grin. “I’m damn proud to call you mine and actually flattered that you wanna tell people about how you have the most awesome boyfriend in the world.”

          Changkyun laughed as Jooheon grabbed him around the waist and kissed his neck. “You’re an idiot,” he jokingly said.

          “Well every genius needs an idiot,” Jooheon replied. “And luckily you found yours.” Changkyun smiled before pressing a kiss to Jooheon’s face.

          After the Christmas break ended, Jooheon and Changkyun packed up their stuff and returned to the university to begin their spring semester. “I’ve got an appointment with my advisor, so I’ll be back in a while,” Changkyun announced after they fixed up their dorm.

          “Okay,” Jooheon said kissing his roommate before Changkyun left for his appointment.

          About an hour and a half later, Changkyun returned to the dorm room with an excited smile across his lips. “I have good news; in addition to getting my Ph.D. in science, I’m gonna do a double major and go for a Master’s in music production with you,” he informed.

          Jooheon’s eyes widened. “Really? You’re gonna actually do it?” he asked hopefully.

          “Yes, you made me remember my love for making music so I’ll still work on the Ph.D. to make my father happy, but will also get the music degree to make myself happy,” Changkyun explained.

          “That’s awesome dude,” Jooheon congratulated as he hugged Changkyun. “Are you sure you can handle it?”

          “Oh yeah, I should be fine,” Changkyun responded.

          For the first couple of months, Changkyun was handling the extra workload well, but Jooheon soon became concerned when there would be nights where Changkyun wouldn’t sleep or eat for days at a time. One day, Jooheon asked “You ready for music class?” As Changkyun nodded and stood up, he immediately passed out and fell forward; luckily Jooheon was there to catch him. “Changkyun, Changkyun!” Jooheon tried to wake up his roommate, but the brunette wouldn’t open his eyes. Turning around, Jooheon knelt down and let Changkyun’s body fall onto his back as he wrapped Changkyun’s arms around his neck and gripped his legs tightly as he stood up. Jooheon quickly rushed Changkyun to the university emergency room and explained what happened. The nurses took Changkyun into a room and lie him down on one of the beds. Jooheon tried to walk into the room, but the nurses told him to wait outside while they ran tests on him. The raven haired Korean waited right outside the door until a nurse opened the door. “How is he? Can I see him?” Jooheon worriedly asked.

          “Are you Lee Jooheon?” the nurse inquired.

          “Yes,” Jooheon confirmed.

          “Yes you can see him, he’s been requesting you ever since he woke up,” the nurse said.

          Running into the hospital room, Jooheon slipped his arms around Changkyun and held him tightly as Changkyun did the same with him. “You scared me,” Jooheon whispered, trying not to let his voice crack.

          “I’m sorry, I’m okay now though,” Changkyun quietly promised.

          After pulling away from his boyfriend, Jooheon placed his hand on Changkyun’s shoulder as he looked at the nurse and questioned “What happened to him?”

          “Changkyun’s collapse was a result of mental exhaustion, have you been resting well and eating enough?” the nurse replied.

          “Not really, I’m focusing on a double major and just had a minor setback is all,” Changkyun responded, knowing that that is what his father would’ve called the incident.

          “The huge amount of work that you are attempting to take on is having a toll on your body, I suggest you choose one major or this is definitely going to happen again, or in a worst case scenario, you will work yourself to death and wind up having a heart attack, which is not uncommon for people who take on too much,” the nurse recommended.

          “I can’t give up either, they’re both too important,” Changkyun rejected.

          “Changkyun just choose one please, I don’t want to see you kill yourself over a degree,” Jooheon begged.

          “Your friend is right, even making one of these subjects your minor would reduce the workload drastically,” the nurse agreed.

          “No, my father will view it as weakness,” Changkyun said.

          “Who gives a damn what your father thinks?” Jooheon asked.

          “I do, even though I fear him, his opinion still matters to me,” Changkyun confessed.

          “Why are you doing this to yourself?” Jooheon concerningly inquired.

          “I am what I am Jooheon, you know that,” Changkyun reminded.

          “I thought I knew you, but I guess I was mistaken,” Jooheon muttered before leaving the hospital room heartbroken that his friend was reverting back to his original ways, even after opening up to him. The next few weeks seemed to drag on between the two. Changkyun’s decision to ignore the nurses had caused a rift between himself and Jooheon and the two were beginning to drift apart, sometimes going days without speaking to one another. However, sometimes Jooheon would fall asleep at his desk making music and Changkyun would cover him up with his blanket before kissing the top of his head, and Jooheon would leave Changkyun’s favorite food on his desk, with a simple reminder to eat; just simple gestures to let the other know that they still cared for their wellbeing.

          One day, as Changkyun sat alone in the dorm, he was typing away on a paper when his laptop suddenly froze. His eyes widened as his screen immediately went to black and wouldn’t turn back on. Groaning in frustration, Changkyun turned to Jooheon’s desk and saw his laptop sitting there. Going over to Jooheon’s desk, Changkyun opened his laptop to access his iCloud and retrieve his back-up paper when he noticed a folder in the corner of the home screen labeled ‘Changkyun Mixtape’. Curiously, Changkyun opened the folder and found a playlist of twelve songs, all untitled except for one. The very last track that had been edited only a few hours earlier was titled ‘I am what I am.’ Plugging in his headphones, Changkyun clicked on the song and began to listen to Jooheon’s rap:

 

_Head down I stay focused,_

_Never have I wanted something so much._

_Running myself ragged every day,_

_If I die in my journey that’s okay._

_Every day it just seems to get harder,_

_Slowly killing myself to impress my father._

_I don’t do what I do for the glitz and glam,_

_I do it and tell people ‘I am what I am.’_

 

          Changkyun paused the song and felt warm tears gliding down his cheeks. Listening to the other untitled sounds, Changkyun found that they talked about similar experiences, such as their first meeting, their fights, their first time together; Jooheon had written an entire mixtape about their relationship with one another. Touched by how much he really meant to Jooheon, even after everything, Changkyun knew what he needed to do. Without telling Jooheon, Changkyun went to his advisor and dropped his science major, only wanting at this point to focus on music.

          As June rolled around, Jooheon and Changkyun had started talking to one another again, but Changkyun hadn’t told Jooheon about his decision to drop science, or that he found the mixtape. Jooheon’s final project of the year was to perform an original song at the music class’s concert with another music student. Changkyun observed Jooheon and a classmate work diligently on the song they would be performing and would show support to his friend. On the eve of the performance, Changkyun sat down next to Jooheon and said “Good luck tomorrow at the concert.”

          “Are you coming to watch?” Jooheon wondered.

          “If you’ll let me,” Changkyun replied.

          “Of course I would, I would love for you to see,” Jooheon confirmed with a smile, leaning his forehead to Changkyun’s. Reaching a hand over, Jooheon raked his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, feeling the brunette lean more into him, missing the physical touch between the two of them. Jooheon slid his arms around Changkyun and pulled him closer before lightly trailing his lips across Changkyun’s neck. Feeling Jooheon’s lips on his skin once more caused a moan to escape the brunette’s mouth as he threw his head back. Falling back onto the bed, Changkyun held Jooheon’s face in his hands as they kissed one another intensely. Jooheon moved on top of Changkyun and had just slipped his hands under Changkyun’s shirt, when the two heard a knock at the door.

          “Jooheon, we gotta head over to the venue and do a last minute rehearsal with the others,” came a voice from the other side of the door.

          Sighing, the raven haired Korean replied “Okay, give me a minute.” Jooheon turned his gaze back to Changkyun and apologized “I’m sorry, I have to go for a bit.”

          “I understand,” Changkyun responded. Jooheon kissed Changkyun’s lips before standing up and sliding his shoes on. After his roommate had left, Changkyun exhaled and curled up on Jooheon’s bed, taking in his scent from the pillows and blanket around him.

          The next day, Changkyun stood backstage with Jooheon as he got ready for his performance. “Where the hell is he?” Jooheon frustratingly asked, looking down at his phone.

          “What’s wrong?” Changkyun wondered.

          “My music partner isn’t here yet, and we’re on next,” Jooheon replied.

          “Can you not do the performance by yourself?” Changkyun inquired.

          “Well I could, but it’s really better for a duo, that’s what I intended when I wrote it,” Jooheon explained. When the emcee signaled to Jooheon, letting him know he was on, Jooheon sighed “Fuck it, I’ll do it by myself.”

          “Good luck,” Changkyun said.

          “Thanks babe,” Jooheon responded.

          As his song started, Jooheon rushed out on stage and began rapping, causing the crowd to cheer. Changkyun was in awe at Jooheon’s energy and charisma in his performance; this is what Jooheon was meant to do and Changkyun loved seeing him excel at what he was talented in. Since Jooheon was performing the original song that he had shared and remixed with Changkyun’s voice, the brunette knew almost every word to this song; he then had an amazing idea. When Jooheon ended one of his verses, he heard a voice say “I am what I am.”

          Turning, Jooheon became stunned momentarily as he watched Changkyun come out onto stage and begin rapping his verse that he had previously freestyled in their dorm in the last semester. With the addition of Changkyun’s vocals, the crowd began screaming loudly in a standing ovation as the two friends finished Jooheon’s song strong, ending with thunderous applause from the music students and the teacher. The Korean teens excitedly hugged one another as Jooheon carried Changkyun off stage. “Dude that was awesome, but you didn’t have to do that,” Jooheon said.

          “Yes I did, I gave up my science major and decided to fully pursue music production instead,” Changkyun revealed.

          “Really?” Jooheon asked with a wide eyed expression.

          “You were right Jooheon, I’ve been living in denial about doing something to please my father and not doing what makes me happy,” Changkyun responded.

          Jooheon then realized that Changkyun was referencing the song that he had written for the brunette, and hugged him tightly. “Then we will take the music industry by storm and be an unstoppable duo of rapping producers,” Jooheon proclaimed before kissing Changkyun’s head.

          The brunette laughed before saying “You are so weird.” Changkyun then draped his arm around Jooheon’s shoulder and added “But I wouldn’t have you any other way.” Jooheon and Changkyun smiled at each other before kissing one another again.


End file.
